My Dirty Little Secrets
by I Wear the Crown
Summary: Rosalie writes to Dear Esme, looking to tell her secrets, but then finds that maybe she really does need Esme's help. Warning: GRAPHIC LEMONS, INCLUDING FEM-SLASH. RxA, RxJ, RxB. All-human.
1. Chapter 1

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Disclaimer: I don't own them, but they definitely have a place in my heart.

I will be putting up more chapters to this story after Christmas. Hopefully, by then, I should have more time to devote to this.

Thanks to Andrea for the kickass banner she made me :) Seriously, awesome.

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Dear Esme,

I don't know what's worse. Being in a miserable relationship, or being in three. That's right, I said three, extremely sexual relationships. I am by no means a slut, but I have found myself in this situation more than once. I guess you could say, I'm a connoisseur of all things sexual.

You may be wondering why I'm writing to you for advice, and actually, I'm not really sure myself. I don't think it's advice that I'm really wanting (or maybe it is) as much as to be able to tell someone. So, in your column, I'm finding solace by telling you my story in this letter.

I turned 29 last month and the thought of 30 is looming over my head like an ominous black cloud. For as long as I can remember, sex has been a natural part of my life. I don't remember much about my childhood other than the birthday parties and sleepovers. I guess, during one of those sleepovers in middle school is where I started experimenting, sexually. My best friend, we'll call her A, and I always did everything together, so I thought that was the most logical choice. Both of us were eager to find out what the big deal with sex was so we kissed. When you're 13, you don't know much about the actual act of sex (at least not where we're from). And for a while, kissing A was all I wanted.

That was until I met J. Our sophomore year in high school, he was the new kid who moved to our town from L.A. He looked like a model and operated like one too. I always knew I was pretty, but his attention to my details (and I do mean ALL of my details) just made me that much more aware. He was tall with blonde hair and these gorgeous blue eyes. There was definitely something about this boy that made my body want to scream. He asked me out and that was the point in my young life that I finally knew what sex was supposed to be about. (Don't worry, I'm getting to the good stuff. Sit back, grab some popcorn and enjoy the ride.)

A, upon finding out about my foray with J, proceeded to convince me that we could still see each other and take our relationship to the next level while I continued to casually see J. I tried to tell her that it was impossible for me to continue both relationships (even though I was dying to try), she told me that nothing was impossible. Right. People who say nothing is impossible obviously haven't tried slamming a revolving door. But, if I knew one thing, it was to never bet against A.

The next two years of high school flew by. By the time I was ready to start college, I thought that all of my peculiar sexual exploits were in my past. Boy was I wrong! A and I had decided to go to State, while my boy toy, J, went to school a couple of hours away. A and I were going to keep our relationship going, but we choose to have different roommates (we both LOVED the idea of being caught in compromising positions by someone we didn't know). We were in the same dorm, just different floors. A ended up with a fashion major as a roommate and me, well, I was in for the shock of my life.

Not only did I end up with a roommate, but I also ended up with a new toy! She was amazingly beautiful and the opposite of A in almost every way. She was tall with long, straight, brown hair and quite. A is short with spikey black hair and very exuberant. But, B, wow! She was everything I wanted but didn't think I could have.

J and I still saw each other when we could. It was easier for him to come see me with his coursework. There's just not as much time if your an engineer major as opposed to a business or fashion major. (I really needed to rethink my line of academia.) But, we always managed to find the time. I always spent time with him in my room and I always spent time with A in her room. I didn't want my new roomie to think anything different about me at first.

Now that you know how everyone fits in my life, I need to explain the three exceptionally stimulating relationships. The best way for me to do that is to tell you about the most sexually intense moments in each of those situations. I know, I know, it's confusing, but it's well worth the read. This is not for the faint-at-heart, so please read with caution. I don't want you to kill over with my letter in your hands, only to have some sick, twisted EMT worker get his (or her) kicks from my sexual exploits.

My relationship with A is probably the most intense relationship I've ever been witness to. She is insatiable when it comes to sex and the most understanding and caring person when it comes to my needs. She knows everything about me and is genuinely concerned about my well-being, both physically and emotionally. So it's no wonder that my most intense sexual experience is with her. Just the mere thought of our relationship makes me wet. But, I digress. Our senior year in high school was when this particular exploit takes place. We were still having "sleepovers" with each other, so no one was the wiser about what was really going on between us.

_Senior Year, high school..._

"Hey R, do you have plans tonight?" A asked me. "Do you want to stay the night? My mom makes amazing breakfasts. But, you know that already. And, I was thinking we could work up and appetite before hand." She winked at me and gave me this megawatt smile, one she knew I couldn't refuse.

"That sounds like a great idea. Just let me call my mom." I called my mom and told her I was staying at A's for the weekend and that I would be home Sunday afternoon sometime, if I was lucky. More often than not, A's parents were always gone over the weekend now that she and her brother were old enough to stay home alone. They usually headed out after breakfast on Saturday and were never home until late Sunday evenings. This, and the fact that they attended charity events on Friday nights, were the main reasons we always stayed at her house for our little romps.

And, just like always, I was never disappointed. There was something about the look in her eyes this time that told me something was different. She said her brother would be gone for the evening with his date and wouldn't return until later. Normally, E was somewhere in the house when I was there. I think he had a thing for me, but just didn't want to admit it to A.

When we got to her house, we made dinner and cleaned up. While I was washing the dishes I noticed that A had slipped out of the room. She came back a few minutes later with a blindfold and a bottle of wine. We were no strangers to alcohol, but usually it was in the form of vodka or whisky.

She blindfolded me and led me back through the house to her parents' master bath. I heard her set the bottle down on the edge of their garden tub and then I felt her breath on my neck. I was taller than her and I felt her breasts slowly move up my body as she stood on her tip-toes to reach my ear. "Tonight, I'm going to make you forget all about J and remember all the things you love about me," she said seductively.

I felt my temperature rise and my core begin to throb as she began to undress me. It was the single most erotic act other than sex that I have ever had the pleasure of experiencing. A began to unbutton my top, gently kissing my neck. As the last button was freed, she slid the shirt off of my shoulders, exposing the lacey, black bra. "You know what they say about women who wear black underwear, don't you?" she said smoothly. A's hands found their way to the back of my bra and she unclasped and removed it in one fluid motion, kissing every inch of my exposed skin all the while.

A was drawn to the firm suppleness that were my breasts. They were perfect. She kissed my breasts tenderly, not wanting to damage even the tiniest molecule. A took my right breast in her hand and slowly moved her tongue around and over the nipple. She could feel it getting harder under the warmth of her breath. She lowered her mouth on to it and began sucking on it gently, applying a small amount of pressure. I moaned with delight and grabbed the back of A's head. She moved her mouth to my other breast and began teasing me again. Feeling more confident, she moved her her lips down the side of my ribs until she met the soft fabric of my pants.

With the precision of a surgeon, A removed my pants and my matching black lace thong. (I dressed for the occasion this morning, knowing that we would be seeing each other at some point in the day.) As she slowly began to stand back up, A gently caressed her hands up my legs until she was at my inner thighs. I could feel her warm breath on my neatly shaved mound, igniting the fire within my body even more. Her breathing became hotter as she closed the gap between her lips and my body, sending chills down my spine. She moved her head slightly so that her tongue would have access to my now dripping wet lips. She let a small moan escape her mouth as she tasted my arousal. Her hands moved around my legs and grasped my firm ass, pulling me closer to her awaiting tongue and mouth. She used one of her knees to spread my legs, allowing her access to my clit. I placed my hands on her head, pulling her into me, not wanting anything between us.

A slowly started working her tongue around my clit and up and down my entrance. With every flick of her tongue, she brought me closer to the edge, spurning me on with hot breaths and nibbling on my clit. Just before I reached my climax, she slowly pulled away from me and began kissing up my body again. "Not just yet, baby," she moaned. "I've got more in store for you. But, I promise you'll be thanking me for it later." My body was on fire and screaming for her to finish, still unable to see what was going on around it.

She slowly pulled the blindfold off of my eyes, allowing them to adjust to the low candle light that filled the bathroom. I didn't even notice that she had undressed until I saw her flawless body. The tub was filled with the most aromatic bubble bath and there were candles everywhere. She helped me into the tub and then poured two glasses of wine. After handing me my glass, she stepped into the bathtub with me and sat down facing me. She looked like an angel with the bubbles coming to rest just on top of her breasts. She slowly took a sip and looked over the rim of the glass at me with hooded eyes.

She sat her glass back down and slid over to me until our bodies were touching again. I found myself looking into her big, brown eyes, wondering what a life with her would be like. She took the wine glass from my hand and sat it beside hers on the edge of the tub. She pulled herself up on me, straddling me, and began to slowly kiss me. Her hands were sliding down my body again, looking for acceptance in what she knew to be hers. Even in the water, I was wet. Her fingers found my clit and slowly began circling it like her tongue had done minutes before. My body twitched from the pleasure, seeking more from what she was sure to give me.

I kissed her again, rougher, wanting to display the intensity and the urgency that my body was feeling. My hands were on her hips, kneading and grabbing her taught body. My right hand slid up to her left breast and began massaging it. I lowered my lips from her mouth and took her nipple into my own. She wasn't the only one who could playfully tease. I licked around the nipple and held my mouth over it, warming it. As soon as I was sure it was warm enough, I slowly opened my mouth and sucked cool air in and around it, making her body tense from the sudden change. The deep moan she gave me was one I knew well; it told me she was enjoying it.

As I crashed my lips back on to her breast, I felt her fingers sliding by my clit making their way to my entrance. With one smooth motion, she was in me. I whimpered in excitement as she slowly began to pump her fingers inside of me. Each stroke of her fingers was like heaven. The deeper she went in me, the harder I sucked.

I could feel her curling her fingers to hit my G-spot, sending my body into sensory overload. I let go of her left breast with my mouth and immediately started to work on the right. As I switched nipples, I also switched hands, allowing my right hand to slide down her body until it found what I was looking for. Her perfect mound was freshly waxed and awaiting my arrival. My fingers found her swollen clit and began massaging it with abandon. She was pushing herself deeper in me and I was readying her own-self for me.

As the scream left her lips, I plunged my fingers into her wet core, feeling it throb around me. Our bodies were now one, with nothing being held back. I began pumping short, fast strokes into her, stimulating her clit with my thumb. She, in turn, began harder, deeper strokes within me. In minutes, I was unable to control myself any longer and began fucking her. My long fingers reaching deep within her core, sending her to heights of pleasure we had not yet been.

I pulled her head down to my ear and whispered to her, "Cum for me, baby, please!" She began bucking her hips into my hand causing my own body to arch into her hand. "That's it, hon, just a little more," I said.

We were both on the edge of climaxing and I pulled her into me for another passionate kiss. I could feel her tightening up around my fingers and knew that she was almost there. The knot in my stomach told me I was there, too. With a final, deep thrust from each of us, we broke our kiss and I screamed her name. I could feel her juices all over my hand in the water as she whimpered and slouched into me. The tears I felt on my shoulder and my own face told me everything.

We had both came in the water we were sitting in, but neither of us could move. I slowly pulled out of her and grabbed her face with both hands. I pulled her to me until our foreheads were touching. "I will never love someone as much as I love you, right now," I told her. She pulled out of me and she wrapped her arms around my neck. "I love you, too," was all she could say.

_Present day..._

The rest of the weekend was much of the same, with us only having to worry about her brother on rare occasions. So, you see, it was a very intense moment that we shared. Everything with A was like that; intense and powerful are the only ways I can think of to classify our relationship.

I have this amazing relationship with A, and you would think a girl would be happy with that, but I also have J. Our relationship isn't as intense, but still mind blowing, none-the-less. Everything about him is fast and reminds me of a tornado. He blows into town on a whim now, but the magnitude of force is all over the charts. He's not always an F5, but the sustainability is one for the books.

_Freshman Year, college..._

During my first semester at State, J would drive up on the weekends he had off. We would always end up holed up in my room, most of the time giving B a little more than she bargained for. Like I said before, not always an F5, but very sustainable.

Homecoming weekend J decided he was going to come visit. I had made plans with B to hang out, but she understood what it meant when he was coming into town. J and I were never ones to be shy about our sexuality, but we did try to have some restraint when B was in the room. She wasn't opposed to us having sex while she was there, we just had to make sure she was aware of it so she could hang out in the living room and watch tv.

I really felt bad for her at times. We were up all hours of the day and night fucking. J was an animal in the sack. Everything was powerful and animalistic in our relationship; it was the essence of what it must have been like in the Stone Age. It wasn't uncommon for me to have eight or ten orgasisms a night with him. Every time I thought he was finished, he would have another burst of energy and we would go at it again.

J loved to talk dirty to me and I encouraged him every chance I got. Not only was he an amazing lay, but he could turn me on just by opening his mouth. We often did role playing when we had sex. His favorite role? Playing the dirty doctor.

"Ms. H, so nice to see you again today," he said slyly to me. "What seems to be the problem?"

"I'm having a problem reaching my climax during sex," I told him. "Is there anything you can do to help me?" I gave my best seductive smile and began to stroke my bare tits with my right hand.

"I'm not sure, but I will need to take a closer look. Now, slide down this way and spread those beautiful legs for me." I did as he told me and slid my naked body down the bed towards him. "This won't hurt a bit."

He slowly began moving his hands up my now bent legs, lightly moving his finger tips over the skin. As his hands reached the tops of my thighs, he began lowering himself on the bed. "My, Ms. H, but it seems as if you're a little excited to be in my office today." He lowered his face until he was only inches away from my smooth mound.

I could feel his hot breath trying to gain entrance into my body. His eyes looked up at me from over the top of my mound and I saw his lips turn up into a smile. "You've not been a bad girl, have you? Do you know what I do to patients who've been bad?" His cocky smile was soon lost from my view as he closed his lips in on my pussy.

He slowly began teasing my clit with the up and down movements of his tongue, occasionally nipping at it. "I'm gonna make you cum so hard, baby. You smell so sweet and taste even sweeter." His pace quickened as I felt myself becoming more aroused and wet. A low moan escaped my lips as "Dr. J" buried his face further in my pussy.

"Dr. J, that's it, just like that," I breathed. His hands had moved from my upper thighs around my body and his fingers were latched on to my tight ass. "I want you inside of me!" The screams that he elicited from me were primal in their nature. I reached above my head to grab my pillow. I needed to bite something before I woke the whole dorm up. I could feel his lips pulling back into a smile again as he was eating me out. Each flick of his tongue was rougher and more vigorous than before.

"I think I know what your problem has been, Ms. H. You just needed someone to lick that sweet pussy of yours and fuck you senseless," he said to me between licks. "I'm gonna make sure you will be needing to see me again." He took two fingers and plunged them into my pussy, curling them to hit my G-spot as he finger fucked me. The force of his thrusts and the urgency of his tongue was bringing me to the edge.

He pulled out of me and pulled himself up on the bed in one fluid motion. With both hands back around my ass, he pulled me quickly up off the bed and onto his rock hard cock. He plunged himself into me, never giving my body time to realize he was ever out of me. He pulled me up into a sitting position on his lap and began thrusting into me. As my body bounced on his hard cock, he took my left tit in his mouth sucking and biting it with every motion. I threw back my head and could feel my body begin to tense up for its climax.

"That's it, baby, fuck me," I said. My voice was now audible in the living room, but I knew B was used to it.

"I'm gonna fuck you until you can't walk, Ms. H," he whispered in my ear. "And then, I'm going to roll you over and fuck you again." The walls of my pussy began to constrict as I felt my orgasm building. "That's it, take me deeper," he moaned. I could feel the shift in his body as he was getting ready to cum, too.

Like a bull coming out of the gates, my body erupted and I could feel my juices coming out from the sides of his cock, running down my thighs. Just as suddenly, I felt him gush inside of me, filling my pussy with his seed. My body tensed as he pulled me to him.

He laid me back down on the bed, stood up and then walked over to where my head was now laying. I pulled his hips to me and took his softening cock into my mouth, trying to pull every last drop of cum from it. "God, R, you are fucking amazing," he said to me as his head fell back.

When I was sure I had sucked everything from him, I took his cock out of my mouth and sat up on the bed. I began kissing his abdomen and kneading my hands on his thighs and ass. The more I kissed, the more I could see his cock getting hard again. When he was sufficiently hard again, he pushed me back on the bed and flipped me over on to my stomach. He grabbed my hips and pulled me hard up on my knees. I felt him take one hand off of my hips and then, after he licked it, he slid it back against my clit.

He teased me, making my pussy dripping wet again. He guided me back onto his cock and began fucking me again. This was our M.O., short bursts of absolute, primal fucking. The only reason we ever came out of my room was to grab something from the mini fridge.

_Present day_...

I've explained two of my relationships and their vastly different styles. While I do love A, there's just something about my relationship with J that I'm not ready to give up. Why should I have to give one of them up?

This would have been the case at the time, but now I have to explain my relationship with B. She is one-of-a-kind and doesn't conform to any standards of society. I always had an attraction to her at State, but never felt comfortable to acknowledge it. That all changed our senior year, when she was working on one part of her final senior art project. She was an Art major and her project was working on new mediums to convey art on canvas. Read on and you'll see what I mean.

_Senior Year, college..._

I had just come back to my room from spending some "quality" time with A. I knew B was there working on her project, so I tried to be quiet coming in. As much as I disturbed her on the weekends when J was there, I tried my best not to disturb her during the week.

To my surprise, the living room floor was covered with a large plastic sheet and in the center of the room was a large canvas. B had moved all of the furniture to the sides of the room so that she could lay her canvas on the floor. She sat in one of the chairs and stared at the canvas, trying to "see" her next creation. I noticed that there was a 5-gallon bucket sitting by her feet with something in it. I looked at her, confusion written all over my face.

"Don't worry, R, I'll have the living room back to normal in no time," she told me. "I just have to finish this piece to complete my portfolio."

"It's no problem, B. I've got some stuff to keep me busy tonight, so I won't need to be in here that much." I still couldn't figure out what was in that bucket, but it looked like thick, brown paint. I decided I was going to ask her after she finished, my curiosity was getting the best of me.

"Do you have plans with A or J tonight?" B looked at me with a quizzical glance. "If not, I could really use your help, if you don't mind." Even after four years of living together, she was still the same shy girl I met our first day here.

"No, I don't have plans. I was just going to check over my internship guidelines for the winter term," I told her. "I don't mind to help a bit. What did you have in mind?"

I could tell she was embarrassed about something, but she never took her eyes off of the canvas in the floor. I didn't notice when I walked in how large it was, but it was every bit an 8' x 8' square. Whatever she had planed for that piece was going to be huge. "Well, I don't know exactly how to put this, but it's a rather erotic piece." She looked up at me with a trace of fear in her eyes. Was she afraid of what I was going to think about her?

"Erotic, as in..." I let my voice trail off, hoping she would finish her thought.

"Erotic. It's going to focus on the comfortability of women with their bodies and something they love. I could do this piece myself, but it wouldn't have the depth that another body would bring to it." She was talking fast, trying to get everything out before she became too embarrassed. "However, I will be filming this also because it's a two part piece. So, I understand if you want to back out now."

"Why would I do that, it doesn't sound that difficult. Besides, what's the worst that could happen?" I gave her a big smile and told her I would be right back. I had to change into some lounge wear and put my bag up. When I came back out into the living room, she was getting the rest of her supplies set up.

"What now, boss? Where do you want me?" It was fun not having to do anything strenuous for a change. With school, A and J and demanding more time, I had felt that I was being pulled in different directions. Everyone wanted a piece of me and no one was winning.

"Right there's fine until I get everything set up," she replied. I noticed that she had changed also. She was in a pair of boy shorts and a tank top, and, from the looks of it, that was it. There were no panty lines in her shorts and there was definitely not a bra. I thought this was a little strange, but it's not like I haven't ever seen her naked at some point over the last four years.

She finished setting up and then looked at me. "I need to start videoing, but I need to tell you one more thing about this piece. It's a nude piece and everything that will be videod will be of us nude." My eyes must have gotten really big because I could see a change in her face. "I don't want to sound crass or anything, but you have the most amazing body I've ever seen. And, I know that your not all that embarrassed by exhibitionism." She looked down again at her feet, hiding her eyes with a strand of hair that had fallen from her ponytail.

"Nude? Hmmm, I've never thought about doing something like this, but for you, I will." The excitement in my voice was evident. I had been thinking about being naked with her since the day that we met, and now, half way through our senior year, I was going to get the chance. "Just tell me what you want me to do and I'll be your slave for the evening." I flashed her a mega-watt smile as I thought about us, naked.

"First, we should probably lock the door. I would hate for anyone to walk in on us." I turned and walked to the door, locking it.

"Door locked. Check," I told her. This was going to be fun, I could tell.

"Okay, well, I'm going to turn on the camera, but I want you to understand what this piece is about first." She took a deep breath, preparing her speech that she had been working on for me. "This piece isn't just about being comfortable with another woman, it's about exploring that comfortable feeling and releasing your inhibitions. To be completely relaxed and in the moment, all thoughts solely on each other."

I had always assumed B was straight, but this admission in her art piece was giving me a glimpse at a whole-nother part of her. I should have put the pieces together before now, but I was so consumed in my own life that I didn't take the time to notice what was going on in hers. The little things came back to my mind in a flurry. The small touches as we sat and talked, the subtle things she did for me if I was having a bad day, the way she always seemed to know what I needed. I thought she had just picked up on them since we lived together, but now I could see it was much more than that.

"I understand," I said to her. I hoped the exclamation in my voice didn't give away my revelation, but I wanted her to know I was okay with it. "I think I might be able to do that."

B moved herself over to the video camera, readying the frame. "Are you sure you're ready?" She was asking me just as much as she was asking herself.

"Yep, I was born ready." B and I both laughed at the nonchalant way I was acting, but it's not like I've never done this before. Depending on how things went, would determine if I would tell her about A.

B turned the camera on and went to sit down in front of the lense. "This is my final piece for my Art Portfolio, entitled _Desire_. This is a two part piece using both audio/visual media and canvas media in the alternative media category. Not only am I using two forms of media to portray this piece, but I am also using an alternative form of expression, chocolate jello. This video is to be played along side of the canvas piece, documenting everything from start to finish. I will be accompanied on this piece by an assistant. The graphic nature of the things that could happen in this documentary are solely for the purpose of Art and should not be misconstrued or used in any manner other than that. Thank you."

B pressed a small button in her hand and the red light flashed off on the camera. I didn't notice before, but she was holding a small remote that could adjust the camera and start or stop the recording process. "I hope you don't mind about the jello, but I know it's your favorite."

"How did you know chocolate jello is my favorite?" I asked her in disbelief. "I don't even know if J can tell me that."

"R, I've paid attention to you for four years. I'm bound to have picked up on a few things," she teased me. "Besides, it's not like I don't know who steals all the jello cups out of the fridge. Especially after J leaves, but I've also noticed it when you come back from hanging out with A."

Did she really pay that much attention to me? Chocolate jello was my favorite indulgence after sex. Hell, it was almost as good as sex. Almost. "I'm very impressed, B. I didn't think you noticed anything about me other than roommate stuff."

"I notice a lot more than you think I do, that's for sure. However, if we're going to do this, we need to get started." I nodded my head and waited for her instructions. "Do you want to get undressed before or after I start the camera?" She was being considerate of my feelings, but all I felt was a dull throbbing in my core.

"After is fine with me. That, and you said you were wanting to document everything. I would say a strip show before the chocolate pudding is included in everything." I was intrigued by what was happening. I felt desire and longing to be close to her. If this wasn't what she had in mind, she asked the wrong person to help her.

"Okay, here we go." She touched the remote again and the red light on the camera came on. "We will now start our documentary on _Desire_. From this point forward, all acts, expressions and completed or incomplete works are the sole ownership of I.C.." With that, she turned around from the camera and walked over to the edge of the canvas. She began taking her tank top and boys shorts off and nodded at me to do the same. I pulled my hair up into a high ponytail and followed her lead.

When we were both undressed, B grabbed a roller that was in the bucket of chocolate pudding and handed it to me. She grabbed a sponge and loaded it, also. She curled her finger and motioned for me to come and stand beside her. When I reached her, she began sponging the chocolate pudding onto my body. Erotic was right! When she finished sponging the chocolate on to my body, I turned her around so that I could roll the jello onto the back side of her body. I started at the base of her neck and rolled slowly down her back, making sure to cover every square inch. I bent down to dip the roller back in the pudding before continuing my decent down her goddess like body. I brought the roller back to her ass and began rolling gently over the firm, round shape that had captivated my attention on more than one occasion.

Before I could get down her legs, something inside me took over. I grabbed her hips with my hands and I licked a section of chocolate from her ass. Her body tensed and then shivered with delight. I took the roller and started to roll the jello up the inside of her legs, stopping just before I got to the upper thigh on each side. I put the roller back in the bucket and stuck my hands in the chocolate. When I had enough jello on each one, I turned back to her and slid my hands up between her thighs and on to her moist mound. A low purr escaped her lips and into the camera. Every emotion and every expression was being caught on film.

I rubbed the chocolate on her mound and into her luscious, pink folds. With every movement of my hands, B spread her legs farther, inviting me in. I toyed with the thought of taking her right then, but I decided I would finish my job of covering her in chocolate. I slowly pulled my hands from between her legs and her hot core and spun her around to where she was facing me. Her mound was inches from my face and I placed a kiss on the top of her lips before I picked the roller back up.

B's face was flushed pink and her nipples were hard. I started at her feet, but when I got to her nipples, I had to taste them. I kneaded one breast while I gently tugged and sucked on the other. I slowly finished applying the jello to her body when she told me to lay down on the canvas. I did as I was told, centering myself in the 8' x 8' square.

"That wasn't very nice of you, R. You _have_ been a bad girl, haven't you?" she purred in my ear. She had positioned herself over me, with her feet on either side of my waist. She bent over to talk to me, her hands on either side of my head, with her ass in the air. From the angle the camera was at, her dripping wet core was sure to be seen.

"I have been a bad girl, but it looks like you have, too," I told her. "Here it is, four years later, and you're just now telling me about this little fantasy of yours. You could have done this sooner and saved us both the cold showers."

When she heard my secret admission, her lips crashed into mine. She dropped to her knees and pressed her body to me. I ran my hands over her body, searching every square inch of it I could find. Her mouth moved from my lips down my neck and to my breasts. She began sucking furiously, letting her hands roam across my torso. When she finished teasing them both, she began kissing down my body once again. Her lips lingered on my hips, sending shivers down my body.

Before I could say anything, she had positioned her body on me so that we would be able to pleasure and taste each other together. Her hot core was above my face, waiting for me to suck on her clit. I could feel drops of her arousal slowly falling on my face. I felt her warm breath on my folds as she moved her face closer to my center. With a slow and deliberate movement, B lowered herself onto me and began lapping at the juices I was exuding.

The moment my mouth touched her lips, she began moving her hips into me, begging for more. Our bodies were so close that I couldn't tell where one ended and the other began. We moved around the canvas, each movement leaving a film of jello behind on the canvas. When I felt her close to climax, I slipped two fingers in her core and began to rhythmically pump. She felt my urgency and did the same to me. The familiar twist in my stomach came back and I pumped harder into her, feeling her muscles tighten around me. With one last thrust, B's body tensed and I could taste the salty cum on her clit. As soon as I tasted her I felt myself release. The low moan coming from B was enough to make me melt.

She slowly moved her body off of mine and rolled on to the canvas. I looked over at her and saw her moving her fingers around her clit. I couldn't believe my eyes. She was pleasuring herself, moaning my name. She was beautiful. I imagined myself in her again and realized I, too, was pleasuring myself. My eyes never left her body. Her movements spurred me on and I could feel the pressure rise again in my core. B opened her eyes and with one last flick of her clit, her body raised off of the canvas and her mouth flew open. I could tell she had cum again as her body limply fell back to the canvas. Seeing her in that vulnerable position caused an explosion to rock my body. I gasped and screamed her name as my juices ran down my leg.

We laid on the canvas, neither one moving for several minutes. Our brief sexual encounter had the intensity of my relationship with A and the urgency of my relationship with J. B had gotten into my head in a very unique way. I looked at her again and took in the sight of her body and her beautiful smile. Nothing was going to be the same with her. I slowly got up from the canvas and looked at our "work." We didn't need to say anything to each other, we just knew. The piece that had taken shape on the floor really was a piece of _Desire_.

I walked over to B and placed a soft kiss on her lips. "Thank you for that. I am truly honored that you would want to share this experience with me." She looked at me for a moment before she smiled.

"I've always wanted to share that moment with you, since the day we met." Her hooded eyes gave me the impression that she really meant that. I saw the sincerity in her eyes and wondered why I hadn't noticed it before. I saw her pick up the small camera remote from the chair and watched her press the button for the recording to stop. The red light flashed off on the camera and her piece was done.

_Present day..._

From that day on, our relationship was different. We saw each other in a different light and occasionally enjoyed quiet nights in our room. B was very aware of my relationship with J and had even picked up on my relationship with A. She was content being just another part of my life.

When we graduated that next spring, A and I moved into the city. B was offered a job as a resident artist at one of the larger art museums. J took a job at a consulting firm not far from the city and commuted from an apartment on the east side.

Now, I know you're wondering where that leaves my life. I still have relationships with all three of them, but I'm getting to the point in my life where I want to settle down. My only question is, what do I do? Each relationship brings something different to my life. I love A and my relationship with her is amazing; I've never wanted anything else in a relationship with her. J brings out a more aggressive side of me, one that normally would not be seen with A or B. And B, my sweet, lovely B. She is so different that I can't explain what it is about her that draws me to her.

I realize now why I wrote you this. Please help me. I don't know where my life is headed, but I want to be with the right person. My body tells me one thing, my head tells me something else and my heart, well, my heart is saying something else, too. Where do I draw the line and say enough is enough? Why can't I be happy with one person? Is there something wrong with me? Please, Esme, please help me understand myself better. You're my last hope, I'm afraid. I am trusting you with my secrets in hope that you can help me find myself.

Anxiously awaiting your answer,

Sexual Deviant

Dear Sexual Deviant,

You sound as if you need to obtain complete attention and affection from just one person. I, too, have had my fair share of sexual encounters. I would suggest calling my office to set up some, "Personal time," with me. My **years **of practical experience should help you tremendously. Why do I think that? As my daughter would say, I'm a grown up, that's why. We can explore your own self as we look for the answers that you seek. By fully understanding your own needs and wants, we should be able to get you to the place you want to be. I look forward to, seeing, you soon.

Esme


	2. Please Read Important

**A/N: I hate to have to write these things, but this one is a good one :)**

**First, due to real life conflicts over the last few months, my writing has been put on hold. I'm ****hoping that it will calm down soon enough and I'll be able to finish my stories. Until that time, ****however, please be patient with me and know that good things are in store.**

**This brings me to my second reason for this little A/N. I am going to run a contest this month ****for my birthday. That's right, I will officially be _running_ through my 30s on the 19th when I turn ****31 (oh, the horror!!!). LOL! **

**So, here are the details you'll all want to know:**

**Dates:** Accepting stories between **08/05/09 - 08/23/09 **

**Voting: 08/25/09 - 08/31/09**

**Pairing(s): Non-canon** (slash, f-slash, 3somes and other multiples are all okay)

**Rating: M** (these are not for the faint-of-heart stories, so share your lemony goodness!)

**Words: 10,000 max, 2,000 min**

**Heading for the contest (not included in word count):**

**"I Wear the Crown's Ultimate Birthday Panty Dropper"**

**Title:**

**Pen name:**

**Pairing(s):**

**Vampire or Human:**

**Rating:**

**Words:**

**For more information, please see contest details on I Wear the Crown's profile**

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**PM me with a link and the name of your submission. I will read over it and then add it to a community**

**just for this contest. If you have any questions, just let me know. Happy writing!!**


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